I love you — theoretically.

I've always loved cats. Almost every house I’ve lived in has had them, except for a few years when my allergies kicked up. And even then, my children insisted on adopting every stray that came by.

Right now we have two cats my daughter brought home from a barn but, after a move or two, couldn’t keep in her apartment.

Then there were the two Siamese I adopted from the woman I met at the unemployment office a few years ago. Maybe the location should have warned me, but she seemed so nice. She had these two “friends” she needed to “place,” and we’d had Siamese.

By the time it was over, one of them had taken a sizable chunk out of my hand, and our town’s animal control officer had to come over with a big cage to get the second one out of our house.

There’s a bigger truth here: life’s always easier in theory.

If you need the answer to a difficult problem, just ask someone who hasn’t got the problem. They’ll have the answer — in theory.

As a person of faith, I love everybody — in theory. It’s just a lot of the people I meet that I don’t like.

That leads to a much bigger topic: living life according to theory or, to put it more plainly, living life according to beliefs. Because isn't that what belief really is: a set of theory's about reality?

In some way, that question is more dangerous than out-of-control-cats. Of course, that's only my theory.